Letter To My Old Man

This is to the dad that i never knew.

But...

I knew i always had.

You know, like the ones that leave the house and say they'll be back soon.

Then you grow the rest of your childhood days peeping through the window,

waiting for his "soon" to come a day early.

I still think of how different i wouldve grown up, had you been around. 

I still wish i knew more about you than just a voice i heard over the phone.

Today it finally makes sense why i grew up as an angry, short tempered teenager.

Your absence as my old man ate me up like cancer.

And you the same person i was supposed to have looked up to? 

Over the years I learnt to treat women far more better than you ever could, so thank you for the lesson.

Not trying to paint any pretty pictures.

My question is,

Where are the father figures?

The same ones that leave and paint an incomplete picture,

A family tree with a broken branch.

But im now in my 23rd year of not having you around,

and all the anger i once had has disappeared without a sound. 

Its a piece of me that has expired and turned to dust.

A memory stuck in an hour glass.

Because with time, i realised how love conquered all. 

And if it wasnt for you not being around, i wouldnt have learnt that at 9 years old.

I hope this letter makes it to you on time.

Because i write you not in an attempt to fight.

But so we can lay it all to rest.

So i can wake up one day and not worry about a heavy chest.

By: | Nceba Thabethe |