As The Heart Speaks

I blocked my heart from all types of feelings, 

It got so cold I even struggled when I tried to breathe in,

Best believe me, you were never meant to make it into my heart,

Somehow you crept in while a nigga thought we were outchea having fun, 

So welcome to my world, are you sure you want to stay here 

It's full of fears and dark thoughts,

My fear of being alone has pushed all forms of happiness aside,

If you are contemplating  being attached, just know I wanna hold you tightly 

But I shut down or run at the very mention of emotion

So when a tear rolls down your face, I'll probably be at your place with you right on my chest and kiss the pain away,

But I cannot lie to you, 

I will fall for you or I will not, 

I will catch you or let your bones kiss the ground, 

I'll be your blessing or I'll be a loving curse that you've found, 

I have stood at the edge of the earth and I heard your voice call, 

but I heard it from both sides, 

Should I jump and hope that your voice shall once again appear when I land, Should I be comfortable with closing my eyes and hoping that you'll be there when I open them, if I ever open them. 

Or should I turn around and expect to hear your voice from exactly where it is supposed to come from, 

Should I return to the 'proper' world, the same world I was trying to jump from?

You see, its either you'll dish up the past for me or you'll excite me with new found flavours of the future, 

Will you add more scars on my body or Will you convince me that it's not the physical that matters 

but it's the spiritual,

the emotional, 

the unexplainable that will once again create the smile that once formed on my face.

By: | Mfezeko Booi |