Inertia

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You haven't asked, but I'll explain to you my existential dilemma.
I'm the embodiment of an oxymoron, 
I have an abundance of love, but cannot express affection. 
Mine is an undying loyalty but I will not allow myself to get attached to anyone
I have the desire but never the initiative.
Why?

Four letters
F-E-A-R
Or by my own definition; conditioning.
Honestly, I've been enslaved by trepidation for as long as I can recall
And twenty years later ,I'm apparently being set free, 
RUN
twenty years in chains I can't feel my ankles, and my feet, are charred, blistered, deeply cut 
But I'm free
RUN!

I stand stupefied, 
maybe by the sudden reality of my freedom, and the improbability of my survival considering my injuries.
And my enslaver ensues, with bigger heavier chains.

I stand stupefied, haunted by the ghost of the chains by which I was bound.
I should run?
I can run?

Forever caught in a trap of cyclical ambivalence. 
I am, yet do not, 
and therefore am not.
A humorous testimony of Newton's 1st law.

And that ladies and gentleman, is my dilemma.

By: | Ndalwentle Makunga |

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