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A Hole

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i dug myself a hole with no easy way to escape.   i don't have the shovel down here with me  and i don't know how to get out.  the thing is that there are people above ground  who know i'm around/alive but don't know that i'm in a hole. i want to call out but when i try  (or at least mean to)  the words vibrate up my throat  and by the time they're meant to leave my lips,  they mask themselves as deep sighs, or change to the automated response of "i'm okay" or go silent. and i sit here,  in the hole,  and it rains more often than not  and there's mud and things crawling out and my skin is cold and numb,  and i pluck at myself,  hoping that physical pain reawakens the part that has died inside of me  and i've become so afraid of disturbing other people's lives and i've convinced myself that i deserve this  and i will let this hole consume me. ...
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O P T I M I S M.

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Blessed be the ones that live without pessimism,  The glass is half full type,  While someone is whispering 'don't cry over spilt milk' as I convince myself that there wasn't any water to begin with,  Excuse the God complex,  I was told to believe that I was made in her image, so excuse my self love and don't take it as self louth,  Let us not exist in the spiritual but Let us us sing our songs and  Let us write our letters hoping that these thumbed sucked addresses become real and replies become consistency till my broken rib is replaced. By: | Mfezeko Booi |
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As The Heart Speaks

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I blocked my heart from all types of feelings,  It got so cold I even struggled when I tried to breathe in, Best believe me, you were never meant to make it into my heart, Somehow you crept in while a nigga thought we were outchea having fun,  So welcome to my world, are you sure you want to stay here  It's full of fears and dark thoughts, My fear of being alone has pushed all forms of happiness aside, If you are contemplating  being attached, just know I wanna hold you tightly  But I shut down or run at the very mention of emotion So when a tear rolls down your face, I'll probably be at your place with you right on my chest and kiss the pain away, But I cannot lie to you,  I will fall for you or I will not,  I will catch you or let your bones kiss the ground,  I'll be your blessing or I'll be a loving curse that you've found,  I have stood at the edge of the earth and I heard your voice call,  but...
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